Meet Miss Rosalie

I did it! I had a baby!

She is perfect. It was difficult. It still is. But oh SO worth it!


For a while, I had been telling people that I hoped the baby would come early. Just not on September 11! So Sam and I were ecstatic when my water broke at 7 a.m. on September 10th while I was in the bathroom. Convenient huh? I was worried my water would break someplace public. Like work. or church. Or the grocery store.

My water breaking was not the typical gush, it was more of a slow trickle, and I wasn't having any contractions, So Sam and I took our time getting showered, dressed, and ate breakfast before heading to the hospital.

We arrived at the hospital around 8-8:30 and after checking to make sure my water HAD broke, they immediately put me on pitocin to start my contractions. This started a LONG day of waiting. After a couple hours of being on the pitocin, they offered to let me get my epidural at any time (since the anesthesiologist was free and there wasn't a "line") I decided once the contractions became uncomfortable, to get my epidural. I got the epidural around 10:30 am so I basically couldn't feel any contractions (or anything below my waist) the entire day. It was weird. I was sitting there telling myself "you are going to have a baby today" but I couldn't feel my contractions. Sam's parents arrived soon after we were taken to our delivery room and stayed until after Rosalie was born. Talk about dedication! And Neils and Kelly arrived a little later.

We watched a lot of football that day...

Baby Daddy

One of my baby shower gifts was this gown. It was SO nice to have because not only was it cute, it was so comfortable and covered more than the hospital gowns.

And then we waited. And waited. And waited.

At around 6 or 7 pm, the doctor came in and said that I was not dilating fast enough and the longer we wait, the longer we risk infection, So I needed to start thinking about having a C-section as a possibility. He gave me a couple hours to think on it, and then returned to the room. I was overwhelmed. I like when things go according to plan, and this was NOT my plan! Why was the baby taking so long? Was it healthy? Is there something wrong with my body? And now a C-section? (NOT that c-sections are bad. I just hadmt planned for one) I ended up sending my husband to get dinner with his parents so I could have some time alone to just cope.

When the doctor returned, I had jumped from being dilated from a 4 to an 8, so they decided to wait a little longer to have a vaginal labor. I was somewhat relieved but midnight was fast approaching. I started feeling sad because it looked like my baby would be born on the 11th after all. Sam came and sat next to me, holding my hand and we started reassuring each other about having the baby on the 11th. The main importance was that the baby was healthy. And we started thinking about how lucky we were to have something happy to celebrate on a sad day. Plus, September 11th wont mean the same to Rosalie. She didn't live through it. So it'll be a happy day.

Midnight approached and I was finally dilated to a 10! I could start pushing. Except I still couldn't feel anything so I didn't know when I was having a contraction and I couldn't feel my body so I didn't know if I was actually pushing or not. After 30 minutes they decided to give me a break and to see if my body would naturally push the baby out. I was tired at this point so I drifted off into a small cat nap only to wake in pain. I could feel my legs. I could move my feet again. And I could DEFINITELY feel the contractions now! The nurse called the Anesthesiologist back in to give me more medicine for the epidural. He told me that he wanted me to feel my body pushing because we needed to get the baby out asap to reduce infection so he wasn't going to give me the full dose. SO basically I felt the entire thing!

Labor isn't what I was expecting. The pain was different. Not a searing pain but still super intense.  It felt good to push because then I felt the contractions less. My baby had a hard time getting past the pelvic bone (due to being breach. Head faced up), so the doctor had to use a vacuum to help get her out. The labor caused some significant tearing on my part. At 2:19 a.m. Rosalie Mae Hazen was born. She was 21 inches and 8.16 lbs. The umbilical cord was really short so the doctor had to hold the baby at a weird angle so I could see her. Sam cut the umbilical cord and the 4 nurses who came in from the NICU quickly started taking care of my baby, looking for any signs of infection.

I always thought that after labor I would just be completely exhausted but smiling and anxious to see and hold my baby, like in the movies. But that wasn't exactly the case. (Which made me feel extreme guilt because I felt like a "bad mom".)  My body was still having contractions, I was still in pain. A lot of pain. And to top it off I had to get stitching where I tore. Having a working epidural would have been SUPER useful right about then. I was in so much pain that when they set the baby on my chest to bond, it was just too much pressure. I asked for her to be taken off.  Luckily my husband was there, holding my hand through it all, giving me oxygen between pushes, and giving encouraging words. He held the baby while they sewed me up and while the pain reduced, until I was ready to hold my daughter for the first time. Everyone kept calling her a "big baby" but she felt so tiny in my arms.

I look how I felt. Gross, tired, hungry, relieved.
 First family photo. :)

Sam and I finally got to our post partum room around 5:00 a.m. We were exhausted. The baby stayed a couple hours in the nursery, so we could get a little bit of sleep. When I woke up and called the nursery to check on my baby, I heard a familiar voice. It was my friend Anne Marie! She told me that she was my baby's nurse! I knew Anne Marie from the singles ward. She is actually one of the first people I met here in San Antonio. I just loved that she was taking care of my sweet baby. Unfortunately it was short lived. They found that Rosalie had a high white blood count indicating and infection so she was taken from my room to the NICU. It was so hard watching my baby being taken away. Sam and I had to walk upstairs to visit our baby. It was heart wrenching seeing her hooked up to the monitors with a little IV in her hand. I couldn't sit in a chair for very long. It was too painful. So our visits to the NICU were very short.

Anne Marie!

Rosalie Mae

Anne Marie made the bow for the hat. So stylish!

I missed my baby. I worried that she felt abandoned and lonely in the NICU. After all she and I hadn't been separated for 9 months! I was an emotional wreck thanks to hormones. haha So Sam and I were overjoyed when one of the NICU nurses at the beginning of her shift, looked at Rosalie's chart and said that she was going to try to get the baby in our room since she was only there to receive antibiotics. She called the doctor and got permission and Rosalie was brought back to our room after 9 hours of being in the NICU.

While we were in the hospital, we hardly got any sleep. And the food wasn't that great. But I was SO happy that Sam had taken time off work to be there, I needed him. Although we did get some visitors at the hospital (Sam's parents, Hattie, Ricky and Ali, and Sam's co-teacher for seminary and his wife) The days were pretty lonely and overwhelming so it meant a lot that Sam was there with me.

I kept waking up because I just HAD to stare at her. 

Even though we live 10 minutes away, Sam decided to sleep on the uncomfortable sofa to keep me company.

baby toes

chunky arms

the view from my bed.

Our view outside our room was pretty fun!

Becoming a new mother is challenging and overwhelming and draining. Luckily I have had some amazing support. Church members brought our family dinners for a week and a half! My aunt Elaine and my in-laws came buy once a week to watch the baby so i could nap. They also helped with odd jobs around the apartment. Connie bought us groceries and decorated Rosalies nursery. Vince cleaned our carpets. Elaine put together our stroller. All for which I am super grateful!

Such clean carpets!

The Nursery

Last week my parents drove from Ohio to spend the week with us and to meet their newest granddaughter. I absolutely loved having them here. They made the days go by quickly and it was nice having company. Staying at home with a baby can get lonely. My parents would get up early and take the baby so I could sleep in. We went tubing the river with David and Elaine's family while my dad watched the baby, we went to Buccees, visited the Hazen's ranch house, and they helped me run errands. Because I knew they were visiting, we organized Rosalie's blessing for the Sunday that they were here.

Granny and Rosalie

Papa and Rosie

Rosie had lots of photo shoots while Granny and Papa were here. She wasnt ALWAYS smiling. But for some reason I like the crying pictures too. haha

First time at Buccees

Visiting the ranch house to see all the progress

Peek a boo

Chuy's for dinner

I giggle every time I see Rosie's face in this one!

Our stake was having stake conference that Sunday so we had the blessing in Austin at my in-laws ward. Sam's grandparents flew in from Ohio to be there as well which was really special. All of my "Texas Family" came and friends from San Antonio drove up to be there for the blessing. There were quite a few of us!

Sam's blessing for Rosalie was so beautiful. It was personal and  thoughtful and the spirit was certainly present. Rosalie didn't make a sound which was a miracle because before the blessing she was VERY fussy. One of the men mentioned that they peeped during the blessing and saw Rosie staring at her dad while he gave the blessing. Sam at one point became emotional and my heart just melted into a puddle!

After church, my in-laws hosted a dinner for all of the friend and family that traveled for the blessing. Luckily they have a big house because there were about 30 of us! Rosalie is so loved!

Connie (Meme) made Rosalie this gorgeous blessing outfit!

Sam was blessed at this SAME chapel. So we copied his baby blessing photo.

This is my favorite!

Speaking of Rosalie, she is my sweet. I think she is perfect. Yes, she wakes me up at night. Yes, she gets fussy around bed time. But she just looks at me with those eyes, or smiles in her sleep (occasionally she will laugh in her sleep) and I am wrapped around her finger. She brings me so much joy. And she has grown! She is no longer in newborn clothes or diapers. I feel like she changes every day. She loves staring at pictures of Sam and I ( basically what she does ALL day). She loves to eat. She loves being outside or staring out the window. She loves (warm) water (swimming and bath time). And I just love staring at her. Or kissing her chubby cheeks.

She was so TINY!

Happy 0 Birthday Rosalie!

The AC in our apartment went out one day...so you know what that means. NAKED baby!!

I love when she would just turn into a little baby ball

Those cheeks!

Those eyes!

One day I was having cabin fever so Sam and Rosie and I drove up to the temple. We saw the most beautiful sunset and with my emotions going crazy, for the first time in a while I felt peace.

Tired mama! But I just LOVE baby cuddles.

I just love her faces!

Daddy helps too!

Rosie watching conference at Meme and Pappy's house.

Rosie loves taking naps with Pappy

She has so fire to her :)

Admiring the quilt Aunt Katrina made for her

First time shopping with just mommy.

Sam and I just adore her! She has changed our lives in so many ways in these short weeks but it is SO worth it. I officially put in my resignation for my full-time position because I just cant imagine not being with her every day. I will still work PRN occasionally though. Believe it or not, I miss my job. But I love my Rosie Mae more and she needs me. She is worth the sacrifice.

As for me, I'm trying to figure out this while stay at home thing. Its lonely and boring right now. That's the truth. I'm trying to figure out new hobbies. I realized I don't have many. Ive always been "too busy". I'm dabbling in sewing. And I want to start doing family history work again. The trouble is finding things I can do while I sit there breastfeeding, or rocking my baby. I'm still tired so i try to sleep while she sleeps but that is also the time I get to do all the chores or shower. It's a balancing act.

So that pretty much sums up life for the past 6 weeks. It's been a whirlwind. But I like what I see. :)